Friday, April 5, 2013

Moving from Father's Daughter to Wisdom's Daughter

I was speaking with a woman who has been working in very masculine-oriented situations and she expressed how hard it is to get past their male prejudices.  It's so ingrained in our society.   And it's not only men.  Women have the same prejudices and unfortunately, we are still passing it along to our children. 

Sheryl Sandberg told Jon Stewart a story when he was interviewing her about her new book, Lean In.  A young 5 year old girl heard her mom talking to a friend about how when a man is decisive and assertive, people like him more.  But when a woman is, people like her less.  She asked her daughter what she thought and the little girl said, "She should be less assertive so that people like her more."   Being agreeable and kind is important, but to shrink from taking a stand is not a good message to be giving our girls.  

But we put up with it.  Why?  Because we're Father's Daughters, 'for the masculine in all things'.  Not that being a Father's Daughter is a bad thing.  All of us are father's daughters and for the most part, we've done a pretty good job of it--we've brought our feminine gifts to the table as much as we could.  It's what makes us so good in the world. We've learned to balance both our masculine and feminine sides.  But these are still in the service of the old masculine/feminine viewpoint.  The one that patriarchy supports, meaning that women and feminine consciousness and spirit are 'less' important than the masculine dominant of power, domination and wealth.  
The change of focus that we get by leaving the 'father's house' frees us up to ignore the old rules of who we are and who we should be--even in the midst of patriarchy.  That change allows us to find our unique feminine standpoint and a new understanding of what action we need to take.  (Now wouldn't that be something if we women just stopped 'obeying' the rules!)  It lets us open up to our own truths and helps us live them.  

In many ways, we have to be father's daughters to become wise women.  It just means there's another step in our process--stepping into our wisdom.  Becoming Wisdom's Daughters

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