Sunday, October 27, 2013

Changing the Story of our Relationships: Feeling Imprisoned

           One of the hardest places to find ourselves in a relationship is when our partner can't seem to change.  And we are ready to run!  But did you ever consider that if you free yourself and change that pattern, you might help your partner change as well? 

  Have you ever felt imprisoned in a relationship?  What keeps you there?  Rage, love, guilt, tradition, habit?  When you hit feeling imprisoned, you know it’s time to do something radically different.  Instead of feeling guilty for wanting to go out by yourself, why not listen to your instincts that are screaming at you to get out! That doesn’t necessarily mean forever!  It means leave for now.   Don’t blame your partner.  Change you own actions; change your own story.   
If your actions are not making things better, then you need to find a new personal story that says, ‘Listen to your instincts and stop the mind chatter about all the reasons you can’t follow your instincts. You’re afraid to because you think if you do, something bad will happen—because your family or religion or education told you so.  If you check in with your feelings and think about how to go about acting on your instincts, it doesn’t have to hurt anybody.  People can choose to be hurt, but if you do it truthfully with the right intention, it frees up energy for change.’    

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